They call it performance anxiety. That name is too kind. What he carries is something else: a position assigned at thirteen, never relieved, and structurally impossible to perform.
This burden is getting heavier. In the moments I feel right, I expect something to happen but it doesn’t happen anymore as it used to.
We love each other. She is very understanding. Now she sees someone. Her hand held him, his fingers were inside her. On Friday they will complete the picture. It’s an agreement we have, I thought would be arousing for me as well. Instead I feel getting smaller, shrinking. We talk honest about everything, I fear to lose everything. She reassures me. I know she’s honest. But she won’t give promises that are to be proven. I’m submissive, but this week we had a moment where I touched her in another way and as she responded I dug deeper and started talking in a certain way about her encounter that aroused her even more and together we felt a wanting that she didn’t experience in a long time and she wanted me in that moment and I gave her all I can except the one thing she is missing and will get from him on Friday. And the whole thing is overwhelming and exhausting and frightening and exciting at the same time and my established position is in question. For Saturday we planned aftercare and conversation to process the events.
Oh sweetheart. I can hear it in your comments. My fingers are crossed for you and her and that you both get closer to the love you hold for each other. For whatever it is worth, I'm sending you all my love 😘💕😘😊
This says a lot. Maybe my psychological microphones is really just me understanding that I cannot meet the unrealistic standards I think she holds me to.
Interesting. It seems that there’s a trend to recognize anxiety as a symptom rather than a diagnosis in itself. I’ve recently read that diagnosing a person with autism with anxiety disorder is literal gaslighting. Their brain isn’t overestimating the odds of a negative outcome. It knows the negative outcome is inevitable. The knowledge that this is going to hurt. That foreknowledge is the source of the anxiety, not some distorted perception.
That sounds about right. I don't know much -- not a doctor, lol -- but I think sometime the health profession is quick to label surface symptoms without doing more work to see what is really happening...
Interesting conjecture. By design, the human penis is a limp noodle that then has to be pressurized enough to enable intercourse. Given that, I’d say (occasional) performance anxiety should come as no surprise. But, of course, there is indeed no standardized rite of passage that every male must pass to be allowed to engage in intercourse. So it’s all trial and error and gaining experience. It’s all a bit strange. Of course, now I have to go see what Silbergeld had to say on the matter.
This burden is getting heavier. In the moments I feel right, I expect something to happen but it doesn’t happen anymore as it used to.
We love each other. She is very understanding. Now she sees someone. Her hand held him, his fingers were inside her. On Friday they will complete the picture. It’s an agreement we have, I thought would be arousing for me as well. Instead I feel getting smaller, shrinking. We talk honest about everything, I fear to lose everything. She reassures me. I know she’s honest. But she won’t give promises that are to be proven. I’m submissive, but this week we had a moment where I touched her in another way and as she responded I dug deeper and started talking in a certain way about her encounter that aroused her even more and together we felt a wanting that she didn’t experience in a long time and she wanted me in that moment and I gave her all I can except the one thing she is missing and will get from him on Friday. And the whole thing is overwhelming and exhausting and frightening and exciting at the same time and my established position is in question. For Saturday we planned aftercare and conversation to process the events.
Oh sweetheart. I can hear it in your comments. My fingers are crossed for you and her and that you both get closer to the love you hold for each other. For whatever it is worth, I'm sending you all my love 😘💕😘😊
This says a lot. Maybe my psychological microphones is really just me understanding that I cannot meet the unrealistic standards I think she holds me to.
I suspect that this holds true for a lot of men and their penises...such curious appendages, lol.
Interesting. It seems that there’s a trend to recognize anxiety as a symptom rather than a diagnosis in itself. I’ve recently read that diagnosing a person with autism with anxiety disorder is literal gaslighting. Their brain isn’t overestimating the odds of a negative outcome. It knows the negative outcome is inevitable. The knowledge that this is going to hurt. That foreknowledge is the source of the anxiety, not some distorted perception.
That sounds about right. I don't know much -- not a doctor, lol -- but I think sometime the health profession is quick to label surface symptoms without doing more work to see what is really happening...
Interesting conjecture. By design, the human penis is a limp noodle that then has to be pressurized enough to enable intercourse. Given that, I’d say (occasional) performance anxiety should come as no surprise. But, of course, there is indeed no standardized rite of passage that every male must pass to be allowed to engage in intercourse. So it’s all trial and error and gaining experience. It’s all a bit strange. Of course, now I have to go see what Silbergeld had to say on the matter.
lol...limp noodle. So true. I have learned so much about men and their penises...it never ceases to be a wonder to me, lol 🤔😂😘